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November 25 Mama? You're fat, right?I so wish children were born with an internal censor. I really really do.
Ben's been dying to see Christmas lights since we first started seeing Christmas decorations in the stores. Back in October. Before Halloween.
We've held him off and held him off but we couldn't wait anymore. Especially since we put our own lights up today. So we all piled into the car after dinner and started driving around.
Ben took his Santa Bear with him. It's a brown bear with a red Santa hat and coat. He has a big ole round belly.
BEN: Santa Bear has a big old round belly.
MAMA: Yup. Santa does too.
BEN: When you're fat you get hungry all the time and you eat and eat and eat, right?
MAMA and PAPA: snicker, snort.
MAMA: Uh, sure. That's right, Ben.
BEN: So, you're fat, right, Mama?
I almost cried....
Steve said we never call someone fat. This is the second time we've had to tell Ben that as he's called his new babysitter fat to her face. I said something like I'm heavier than I like but I wasn't fat. Geez...
After shower time, Ben leaned back and stuck his tummy out and said, "I'm fat! Right?"
Ohmigod. My neighbor has a five-year-old girl who is already concerned she's fat and wants to go on a diet.
If you have children, watch the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. Talk about it with your kids. Please! Our next generation of kids will all be starving themselves or taking steroids to get "cut." I'm appalled. And now I'm off my soap box.
November 16 We could open up a casino!Ben asked me today if he had any Indian blood in him. Really. He said, "Mama? Do I have any Indian blood in me?"
Where does he get this stuff from? I answered, well, yes, but pointed out that Ben's mostly Hungarian.
BEN: Why?
MAMA: Because Papa's mostly Hungarian. But you're all sorts of stuff: Hungarian, Slavic, German, English, Irish, Scottish, American Indian (Native American) and I don't know what all else, so mostly you're just American.
BEN: Really? Cool.
And then he swam off.
I have no idea where this stuff comes from. Or why he asks it. But apparently, Steve didn't know I had just the teensiest bit of American Indian in me. He's renamed our Hacienda de Serdy to the Reservation. He'll be petitioning soon to open the Serdy Casino. Fabulous prizes! Great washed-up 80's band concerts! Slots! Texas Hold 'Em! We've got it all! November 12 Electricity, electricity....We have a DVD player in our car. We never planned to have one but it came with the car. We avoided using it for years (OK, maybe like two years) until one fateful day we introduced Ben to the magic of a DVD in the car.
Sometimes we use this power for good: entertaining a frustrated child on a long drive to Cannon Beach, for example.
Sometimes we use this power for evil: silencing a chatty child who insists on repeating "I'm really glad you didn't hit that person, Mama."
Ben chooses his own DVDs to play. He can control the remote to start, stop, play, and rewind his movies. Even better: the car came with headsets to use while watching the DVD player so the driver can still listen to the radio. Best of all: Ben actually seems to prefer using his headphones.
So, it makes for an interesting drive. I'm talking to Steve and from the backseat we'll hear, "Electricity! Electricity!" or "Five, Ten, Fifteen, mumble, mumble Thirty!" or "Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your atverds here." Really, I'm not making this up. Ben has a good sense of rhythm and seems to enjoy singing. He just doesn't know all the words so there's usally a lot of "ahh ohh uhh" mumbles in between recognizable words. And he usually sings loudly. In the middle of whatever song I'm listening too (Kelly Clarkson). It's distracting, to say the least.
And awfully cute. And I'm sure quite educational. Ben knows what nouns are, he can recite some simple multiplication tables (just the 2's right now), and he can count to five. He knows all the planets (including poor sad no-longer-a-planet Pluto) and three conjunctions.
Schoolhouse Rock, baby. If your kid is going to watch TV for every car trip from the five minutes to Starbucks to the four hours to Cannon Beach, it's a great disc to have... November 04 Don't mess with a Jedi's mamaFor Ben's birthday, Aunt Karen got him not one, but two light sabers. She got him two so he could have light saber battles with other kids. Those "other kids" turned out to be Steve. Steve and Ben bash each other in the entry way most evenings. I have banished them to the entry way because it has the least amount of furniture to get banged up. Usually these battles stay in the entry way but sometimes someone gets a little carried away and runs off, waiting to be chased by the other one. And sometimes, well, sometimes, I get involved. I'm usually just minding my own business, washing dishes or something, when someone (usually Steve) runs by and whacks me with a light saber, cutting off my arm or leg or butt (which I really don't mind).
Well, the very first time Steve ran by me and whacked me with a light saber, Jedi Ben lost it. He chased Steve around; yelled at him; and tried to whack him, hard, with his light saber.
You just don't mess with a Jedi's mama.
Ben has calmed down about me getting attacked. Now he just gives me "medicine" in the form of Tinker Toys. It's pretty powerful medicine: I've been able to grow back entire limbs with it. I just have to be careful. Sometimes the "medicine" Tinker Toys are actually bombs or rockets... NaNoWri What?NaNoWriMo
National Novel Writing Month
A bunch of wacko people (currently more than 90,000 strong) attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in one month-the month of November. That's about a 200 page book. The perfect length, actually, for a young adult novel (YA). In order to complete 50,000 words in one month, you must write 1667 words every day, or about 7 pages.
It's hard, but doable.
I decided to sign up. It's not like it won't be challenging, what with a cat who keeps molestering my mouse hand, a boy who doesn't sleep, a husband who is feeling poorly, three doctor appointments, two mommy meetings, and one basketball practice. It will be a walk in the park!
As of November 3rd, I have written 3,811 words. I am currently behind by 1100 words. It's off to the keyboard for me!
Oh, and if you're interested, it's not too late to join!
And don't you hate it when......your kid almost loses it at 5:00 in the morning because he can't go swimming because he threw up the night before and it's 5:00 AM because you forgot to change the time?
It's going to be a long day. November 03 Don't you hate it when......your kid tells you his tummy really really really hurts so you go upstairs and give him a Tums and settle him down and go back downstairs to watch Pushing Daisies only to hear from upstairs, "Mama... I threw up..."?
Really. I hate vomit. I really really really do. Mama... my tummy hurts...and it's interrupting my sleep. My tummy really really really hurts.
I swear I'm not making that up. Ben really does talk like that.
Apparently, some of our neighbors love Ben so much they talk like him sometimes (complete with "apparently") and gets the whole family in stitches.
November 02 Don't you hate it when......you settle down for an evening of relaxing in front of the TV, checking your e-mail and the major headlines, only to see that several frozen pizzas have been recalled due to an E. Coli risk in the pepperonis?
Erg. I fed my family frozen pizzas for dinner that night. I dug in the recycle bin, checked brand names, checked SKUs.
Double erg. I ate the frozen pizza that had just been recalled!
I am so going to the hospital. But not this weekend. Steve is ill today; it's totally his turn as I was totally shot last weekend. At least we're all taking turns with this most recent cold! Basketball!BEN: I like playing defense better. All you have to do is stand there and hold your arms up. We signed Ben up for kindergarten basketball. I hadn't planned on signing him up for any sports but his friend's mom asked me two days before the deadline if Ben was playing. Her son Alex, and Ben's current best friend at school, had already signed up. We asked Ben and he agreed. He has one practice a week and one game Saturday. Well, actually, this weekend he has a double-header: two games back-to-back. His volunteer coach is an full-fledged basketball junkie. Coach Patterson played college ball and later coached college ball professionally. He's a tall drink of water to look at him but one mustn't crush on one's son's basketball coach. Especially if one is married. And if one's son's basketball coach is also married. And if said wife comes to the games and acts as assistant coach. I've been pleased there hasn't been a big emphasis on competition, tho Coach is trying to get the kids to learn how to open a passing lane and to shout when they're open and how to do lay-ups. I'm learning quite a bit about basketball while sitting on the sidelines! His league is "unscored" but it is referred. Refs mostly call traveling and, uh, mobbing. The kids don't know how to steal without all crowding around the ball and reaching in. I'm sure there's a more official term for the foul but I don't know what it is. Fouls result in turn-overs. No free-throws in the kindergarten level. Games are played for 20 to 30 minutes with players swapped out every five minutes. Our team has 10 boys so everybody gets an equal time on the court. Teams are not allowed to do a zone defense so each kid gets a colored wrist-band and he's supposed to guard the player on the opposing team who has a matching wrist Ben isn't so sure what this whole basketball thing is about. During his first game he mostly just followed his friend Alex around the court. You'd often find Ben standing stock still in the middle of the court watching the action taking place far far away from him. He's not aggressive about getting the rebound. Doesn't want to be in the crowd, and when he dribbles, the ball generally bounces off his feet. (He has big feet. Have I mentioned that lately?) He's an OK shooter, no better or worse than the other boys. We've got maybe two ringers on the team and then a whole mess of kids who have no idea what they're doing. I swear, I haven't laughed so hard as when I watch these kids practice. Yesterday, Coach called for a practice game and split the boys into two teams. Things started great, but then the boys forgot who was on whose team. So then we switched to shirts-and-skins. Volunteers were asked to be skins and at one point we had 4 skins kicking the pants off 6 shirts. The kids are all learning how to pass (chest, bounce, and overhead) but their aim and catching are... well... improving. Steve took pictures at the last game. I'll post them soon. |
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